Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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