hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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