I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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