This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Please don't give away my fajitas
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
