you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
