Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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