i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
