no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
