i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
