i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dick very happy bro
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
