Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Welp...herpes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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