My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
