Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
