Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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