I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
