Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
