how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
