I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
