is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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