Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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