Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
