does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to calm my uterus...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
