Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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