Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
