Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
