Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
