You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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