Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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