i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
