I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
