Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
