I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
