Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
