U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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