youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
