I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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