We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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