What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
