Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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