I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
