I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
