Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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