They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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