She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
