i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
