Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
