You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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