Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
