That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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