I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
